Draw the brakes on your flood of virtuous arrogance, noble causes, and bluenosery. You're just jockeying for more Christmas presents, and Santa knows it.

 is Purgatory-bent for denim.

 Writings attributed to the legendary medical pioneer Hippocrates circa 400 B.C. proposed that hysteria in women was caused by a lack of semen. Sounds feasible to me...

 "Don't do it, jagoff!" That was to the Shirley draping months' worth of paychecks in the form of ice around some broad's neck.

 You make it with some of these chicks, they think you gotta dance with them.