Monday, September 5, 2016

"Troll Hunter" (2010) d/ Andre Ovredal

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This is more fucking like it. Tonight, we'll delve into the old Norwegian mythology when a troll wasn't necessarily a thirty-something guy living in his basement starting flame wars on message board regs,  as envisioned by Norse writer/director Andre Ovredal, and acted out by his one time commie comedian/countryman, Otto Jespersen, Hans Morten Hansen, another comedian, Glenn Erland Tosterud, Johanna Morck, and Tomas Alf Larsen. You're into peculiarly named actors, this flick is a treasure trove, indeed. Oh, and don't forget to stay tuned past the end credits...

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Somebody found a full Budweiser in the forest.
Volda University sends off three of it's brightest students in audio/visual production to get to the bottom of the recent rash of bear attacks and subsequent bagged bears turning up all over Norway. Thomas (Glenn Erland Tosterud), Johanna (Johanna Morck), and Kalle (Tomas Alf Larsen) answer the tele-journalistic call under the belief that a poacher is behind the bear deaths, but it's not long before they realize their main suspect, a Land Rover-driving goon in a foppish hat named Hans (Otto Jespersen), is no common poacher. Instead, after much paparazzi-style pestering, Hans reveals that he the country's lone hunter and slayer of mythical trolls. After allowing the team to fully document his dispatching of a massive three-headed rascal by turning him into stone, he offers the crew a free ride while he makes his rounds, whacking different species of woodland trolls, and even the much larger mountain variety, as he's become jaded on the job ever since he was forced to wipe out entire troll families (pregnant females, children, uhhhrvrybodah) that one time. Boy, he hated doing that.

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"Come live your secret dream!," beckons the King of the Nighttime World.
As we watch the found footage (sigh...), we learn much of the physiology of these mysterious beasts; They can stand two hundred feet tall, older males grow head-like protuberances on their shoulders as they get older, they eat rocks or anything they can get their massive mitts on, really, and sunlight can either turn them into stone or explode them on the spot. You've gotta rub yourself all over with their signature slime to avoid scent detection, and Jesus Christ help you if you happen to be a Christian, as they can smell your blood if you're of the faith. Hans' liaison is an older bird named Hilde, a kind-hearted veterinarian who he's thrown around naked once or twice, it would seem. Officials maintain that said trolls do not exist, and go to J Edgar lengths to keep this untruth at the forefront of the national consciousness, as the team will later find out. In the end, they replace a squashed, Christian cameraman with a Muslim and square off not against your common Ringlefinch or mere Tosserlad, but a two hundred foot tall Jotnar, the largest of all trolls. What goes down I'll leave for you to discover on your own...

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"C'mon, just two-handed touch, up to five...you guys'll murder us."
Most of the main cast is comprised of high level Norwegian comedians, if you hadn't noticed in our opening paragraph. It works. Despite the well-exhausted found footage mockumentary approach, I rather dug this one for its cinematic flair, originality, inventive, effective use of cg (which I normally hate), and clever script. The lush natural shooting locations are equally impressive, and you might find yourself drinking them in yourselves while waiting for the next giant big nosed oaf to come crashing through the trees. Overall, I give it three out of four Wops, a worthwhile watch for any horror fans with a decent sense of humor that might be looking for something new and different to get into. Check it out, for sure.

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"...Posting it on Facebook and taggin' you in it, too!"
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