There, there, all ye alienated sex kittehs of the world, your costumes may be too slutty for the moral majority, but you can always trick and treat, judgment-free, from the warm safety of my lap.

 My digs is a no-fly zone for hags, even on Halloween. Any witches resembling Cynthia from D.C.'s Witching Hour horror anthology series (1969-78) are strongly encouraged to disregard that last statement.

 David Lynch's ability to direct a movie and sing a song are inversely proportional.