"Cry of the Banshee" (1970) d/Gordon Hessler

Banish any visions of crimson-locked fairy women chasing hysterical celt lasses through the Scottish highlands from your consciousness before sitting down to watch tonight's review, as you're not gonna find such things in it. In fact, if you're looking for three dimensional characters, or even some semblance of originality from the screenplay, you may as well forget that, too. What you will encounter here is a generous helping of immortal genre-god Vincent Price, portraying as a barbaric magistrate/witchfinder as you're likely to find in one of these period pictures (certainly one of his, anyway), lustily pawing at wenches with the unmistakable pomp and pretense that old school horror fans know well and love even more. On top of that, factor in loads of  tasty eye candy of the day, not excluding Swedish Gemini, Essy Persson and A.I.P. genre reg, Hillary Heath of 'Oblong Box' and 'Witchfinder General' fame, none of which seem too concerned with being topless in a movie that was rated GP (all ages permitted!).


"...Its! Vincent Python's Circus of Religious Persecution-on-on."
Lord Whitman (Price) graciously invites a pair of dirt merchants into the hall where an ostentatious feast is being held in his honor, to ridicule their impoverished state as Elizabethan magistrates often did in those days, but more so, to accuse of witchcraft and condemn to death, as was also wildly popular among the aristocratic class during that time period. Wenches get ogled, fondled, stripped, accused, publicly humiliated, and tortured according to schedule, with Whitman's eldest son (who blackmails his own step-mother for sex! Hot DAMN, this family is effed up.) and his two foul henchmen, Burke and Bully Boy (Michael Elphick, Andrew McCulloch), all doing their sadistic part to keep the villagers nicely gripped by constant terror. That is, until the magistrate's zeal leads him to an actual coven of real witches flitting around in the forest nearby, who's leader, Oona (Elizabeth Bergner), feels instantly compelled to bring a curse down upon the lascivious land baron and his entire house when she discovers that he's caused many of her followers to eat axe chop-death while netted like so many animals.


"I want my tree pahdeydah's in advance, boyyo..."
The witch's curse takes the form of a sidhe, a magical shape-shifting/fake looking beast called upon to exact bloody off-camera revenge upon Whitman and his kin... or in this case,his faithful manservant, Roderick (Patrick Mower), who's got a way with animals and people (especially Whitman's daughter, Maureen) alike that deeply concerns Father Tom, who's only just returned home with the magistrate's youngest son, Harry.When family members start dropping like the Chicago Bears playoff hopes in November, Harry and the priest extirpate Oona from existence, while Maureen speeds a transformed Roderick to his maker via blunderbuss(!). Relieved to have lifted the curse from his family once and for all, Whitman packs up his remaining son and daughter into a coach for greener future pastures, but when he brazenly stops at Roderick's grave for a final hammy gloat, he finds the coffin empty, and once inside the coach, he discovers that Harry, Maureen, and Bully Boy have all been dispatched by Roderick, who drives off in the midst of the sounds of the lord's feeble screams...


Stop, collaborate, and listen. Price tortures witchy bitches like the Inquisition...
After collecting this third collaborative credit with director Hessler (Oblong Box and Scream and Scream Again would precede), Price did some tv work on shows like Love, American Style, Mod Squad, and Hilarious House on Frankenstein in the year leading up to his appearance in the Fuest cult classic Abominable Dr. Phibes(1971).You might recognize Michael Elphick from his later roles in movies like Quadrophenia (1979) and The Elephant Man (1980). You might also recognize the clever title sequence as one of Terry (Monty Python, Time Bandits, Brazil, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, et al) Gilliam's.Not nearly as good as other similar Price vehicles, like 'Conqueror Worm', but still packed with enough classic Pricery, groovy topless witch-wenches, and hokey period sadism/misogyny to please the average genre nut. Despite some faults, it still merits a healthy three wop score in the end. Check it out!


Her hair turned white while trying to memorize all the words to Edgar Winter's Frankenstein...

Madhouse(1974)d/Jim Clark

Stills from the 1974 A.I.P. release were all over the place in magazines like Famous Monsters of Filmland when I was a kid,making me anxiously await seeing it back then.Despite that,and the pairing of legends Vincent Price,Peter Cushing,and cult actor Robert "Count Yorga" Quarry, who all give acceptable performances,the production is bogged down by uninspired direction,unimaginative deaths(for the most part),hokey effects,and a Phibes-esque twist ending.Price's movies,for the most part,are like pizza though.When they're good(Witchfinder General,Abominable Dr. Phibes) they're phenomenal,and when they're bad(Beach Party,War Gods of the Deep),they're still pretty good.Price always delivers.That said,this is no doubt a lesser example of his rich body of cinematic work,spanning fifty-five years until his death in 1993.

Dr. Death(Price),whose presence commands a lot of ...well,death.
Paul Toombs(oh brother),a Hollywood actor known for playing horror icon "Dr.Death",is having a party,screening his older films for his guests before announcing his upcoming marriage to an up and coming blonde starlet.Producer Oliver Quayle(Quarry) mentions in passing that Toombs' wife-to-be,was a former porn actress of his.Oops.Then someone lops off her head upstairs in the bedroom.When Toombs discovers her body,he screams into the camera,giving the viewer an unsettling fish-eye view of each and every one of the fillings in his mouth.Brrrrrr.This nervous breakdown forces the actor to take a long sabbatical in the local squirrel farm.

Toombs(Price) does a heckuva lot of extreme close up screaming in this one.
Writer Herbert Flay(Cushing) scores a tv series based upon the Dr. Death character,and calls upon the frazzled Toombs to revisit his famous part,produced by the same Quayle who pissed upon his disastrous wedding plans years earlier.Only now,people are dropping like flies on the set and off,being killed by someone dressed as the diabolical doctor.But is it Toombs,driven mad by watching archival footage from The Raven,Haunted Palace,and Tales of Terror(all earlier Price films,mind you)?Or is someone trying to finish the job they started earlier when they removed his fiancee's head?Will Toombs get to the bottom of the mysterious happenings or will he deliver a hammy ten minute solo speech,burning the corpse of a young love interest,the horror set,and himself,before revealing he knew all along that it was Flay's jealousy that caused him to try and frame Toombs for the murders,leading to a final battle that kills the writer in a pit of daggers,leaving Toombs to make himself up like Flay and laugh about the whole thing over dinner with a horribly burned former fling who now plays with spiders,some of which are of the dime store rubber variety?I think we both know the answer to this one.

Flay(Cushing)and Toombs get some down their necks.
At a costume party,Cushing and Quarry both dress like vampires,ironically,since Cushing made the Van Helsing character famous in Hammer films,and Quarry played A.I.P.'s hit vampire Count Yorga years earlier.Wink,wink.There are some gaping continuity problems here as well,dead bodies that breathe heavily,Cushing's character never leaves a tv audience during the time he's supposed to be off murdering,and the aforementioned rubber dime store spiders,but still,a decent way to occupy some Wednesday night time,regardless of the many shortcomings.You never really can go wrong when sitting down to a Price film,even one so lifelessly produced such as this one.Due to the cast and their admirable go of it,I give this:

What Vincent Price movie would be complete without a lengthy delivery of grade A ham?