B.W.'s Top Twenty Sex Sirens of Cult Cinema : The Top Ten

                    10) Adrienne Barbeau

                              9) Gloria Guida
 
                 8) Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith

                        7) Rene Bond

                       6) Corinne Clery

                        5) Madeline Smith

                             4) Ewa Aulin

                             3) Annie Belle

                      2) Francoise Pascal

                   1) Christina Lindberg

"Anita"(1973)d/Torgny Wickman

Call me biased,kiddies,but Anita is damn near the greatest example of ur en tonårsflickas dagbok I've ever seen.Why is that?Christina,of course.If there's a more beautiful girl that's ever walked the face of the earth,well,that's arguable.And director Wickman puts all of Lindberg's ample assets on display here,in the form of a psychoanalytical drama,the type that was rampant in the late sixties and early seventies,especially in Europe.Now if you say you're actually going into this one for a thesis on nymphomania and its causes and cures,or to sample the early acting skills of international star Stellan Skarsgard,don't be offended when I laugh heartily in your fucking face.There's only ONE reason to watch this,as displayed fantastically retro-style on the dvd case,and its name is Christina.I never get tired of looking at the perfect symmetry of her face,the innocence in her eyes,the seductive charm of her every curve.Unfortunately,sex maniacs usually look less like her,and more like this guy right here,which I suppose makes your collective mothers a glad bunch,indeed.But enough sillies,we've got a Swedish nymphette to "analyze",don't we?

When nymphomania starts looking like this,the only cure is ME.
Anita(Lindberg),is a sixteen(!) year old nymphomaniac who uses random,sometimes dangerous carnal encounters as a form of rebellion against her very life.Her father's devotion is to the military,and her mother may as well be a cardboard cutout.Her younger sister is a suckup who plays her parents for all the affection.Is it any wonder that Anita,wrought with self-loathing and self-destructive tendencies,seeks release from men?Multiple men?Any man?The only problem is the more men she fucks,the less fulfilled she is.From random dirtbag hippies she blows in public bathrooms to fat old men she fucks under a dirty makeshift blanket-tent on a roadside construction site,the growing emptiness she feels drives her to endanger herself in pursuit of more and more random,sometimes violent sexual escapades.When she and her sister perform a duet for her father's military buddies and business associates,she gives an encore;a scintillating striptease,right there in her parents' living room(!!).She masturbates with a vibrator the size of a small lighthouse,but to no avail.All of her peers,family included, look down their noses upon the tiny sex maniac,but offer no counselling,instead,caught up in their own self-importance.

Imagine the fucking D cell batteries a maglite like that eats...
Her luck begins to change when she propositions a young psych student named Erik(Skarsgard),who senses the girl's inner demons and inherent helplessness,choosing to try and help her rather than dump his eggbag and kick her backdel to the stupränna.He lets her move into a commune of artists(filthy hippie squat,more like!)that he's a member of,so that he can study her problems with the help of his colleagues and professors at his disposal.Between relating her depraved tales of fleshlust to her new pal,she hooks up with a glass sculpturist at the commune,and dumps him directly afterwards,smashing one of his works of art,and telling him matter-of-factly that she only wanted to fuck.Insert Nelson Muntz "Hah-hah" here.Finally Erik comes to the conclusion that the only way to exorcise her dick-driven demons is to give her the one thing she's never had.If you said "mind-blowing,earth-shattering,leg-quivering orgasm",then give yourself two points.He makes love to her,without his facial tentacles,so prevalent in the Pirates of the Carribean movies,and she comes violently.Anita then realizes this boy is the one she can truly be with,her days of any-cock'll-do finally over for good.Psychoanalysis-1,Nymphomania-0.The end.

Oh,alright,Christina.Twist my arm.
Lindberg went on to fare such as Sex and Fury,Love in 3D,and the notorious Thriller:A Cruel Picture(They Call Her One Eye),before taking a sabbatical in the eighties,only to return to acting last year in Ingen kom ner,which I can't say I've seen,but I'd sure like to.Skarsgard hasn't slowed down a bit,scoring a role in the upcoming Thor movie,most recently.All the psychoanalytical claptrap bogs the movie down a bit,to the point that I almost caught myself fast forwarding to Christina's next lurid sex story or encounter,but like I said earlier,you'll bury the film's shortcomings deep in the back of your mind once she fills the frame.Amazingly,she turns sixty(!!!) this year,and before you even ask,yes.Yes I would.Three wops.

Wait a second,it took fucking Bootstrap Bill to finally get you off???

Wide Open(1975)d/Gustav Wiklund

Let's continue on down the holiday road(that wasn't a Lindsey Buckingham reference,I swear)with a succulent slice of Swedish sexploitation called Sängkamrater from Finnish genre director Gustav(Exponerad)Wiklund.Not much sense is to be made of what's going on on the big screen here,but it's all relative when you've got Christina Lindberg nude in front of the lens.I'll...cough,cough...try to be objective here for once,but I'm not making any promises.I'm not sure if this was meant to be a comedy or a drama,but half-nude kick lines,horse stable rear entry,and housekeeping in the buff certainly have comedic elements in my book.The foggy,vague non-linear story goes something like this:

ABBA tickets sold out?That explains your collective Swedish sourpusses.
Some guy who drives a taxi for a living runs into his pop,on the piss-up,at a horse race. The two men go back to the son's apartment,where his girlfriend is naturally wandering around bare-assed.In a turn that would make Alan Alda cringe,the drunken dad attacks her. Further on, the young taxi driver and his squeeze go to a swank get-together of well-to-do's,where he humps some random blonde bimbette in a back room.He never worried about bringing sammitches to a picnic,methinks.Meanwhile his girlfriend ends up bumping into her younger sister,who's happy go lucky but brutally blecchh in the grillpiece,and happens to be starring in an arthouse film that happens to be being screened at that very same party.Imagine that. A twisted birthday party/family reunion ensues after which the older sister/girlfriend takes off for Copenhagen,whilst her junior wrongly pursues a career in nude modelling/open sex with her jaw-droppingly gorgeous friend,Eva (Christina Lindberg).

The polyester blazer,the hairdo,the mutton chops,the turtleneck...this flick has it ALL.
The younger chick also tries vainly to put the moves on her sister's old man,the unfaithful taxi driver,but he couldn't be bothered,preferring the charms of Eva, putting the blocks to her on the couch while her own oblivious/apathetic bee-eff is passed the fuck out mere feet away. We then learn that Eva in something of an abusive relationship herself,taking the manroot from behind in a horse stable and inexplicably being forced to do her household chores sans gear.This doesn't stop her from acing a nude photo shoot,and looking as cute as a friggin button the whole time. Then there's also a consignment of hard drugs stowed away in a fur coat which eventually ties in with the three heroines doing a nude/semi-nude can-can dance a la Salo'.It doesn't get any clearer from here,but then...who cares,really?Were you really expecting Citizen Kane going into this?

Oh yeah,she's in this flick too.
If your taste in women is anything like mine,you'll enjoy this 102 minute diversion from the diabolical daily drudgery of life for the obvious reason.As usual,Lindberg is the main(and really only)draw here,but dio motarello! She's one beautiful piece of cinematic scenery.The convoluted story reeks of chauvenism/misogyny and harsh role playing,which may or may not have been par for the course in Sweden's open sexual society in the seventies,and most of the key players aren't memorable or even attractive enough to merit much attention from me.But...Christina looks fantastic here,and turns in a wonderfully nude performance as always.Throwing objectivity to the ground,kicking it in the mush with size 13 steelcapped boots until rendered comatose,I give Wide Open:

Rub a dub dub,three Swedes in a tub.

Exponerad(1971)d/Gustav Wiklund

Apparently the dvd cover art is too hot for Photobucket.Fancy that!
How amazingly beautiful is Christina Lindberg?Some of my more avid readers may remember there was once a "Thriller:A Cruel Picture" review early on(I'll be updating that post and other Lindberg movies sometime in the near future) on the site.My ex-girlfriend(25 years old at the time) was SO intimidated by my gushing praise for Christina,who is now 59 years old by the way,she hounded me until I finally caved to her demands to take the review down.So what's so special about a middle aged woman that she gives a girl half her age feelings of gross inadequacy?Just look at her,ferchrissakes.She has to be the most breathtaking creature to ever breathe oxygen.This film,her third,was touted as banned in 27 or 36 countries,depending on what tagline you read,because of its frank depiction of human sexuality.Your humble N is here to tell you,though it doesn't live up to that reputation,Ms Lindberg does NOT disappoint,in various stages of undress throughout.Who gives a fuck about anything else in the movie really?That's right.Not I.

Lena(Christina)takes naughty snaps for Helge(Heinz Hopf).
Lena is alone in the city while her parents vacation,torn between her boyfriend Jan and the older,more experienced,sadistic and influential Helge(Heinz Hopf,of Thriller:A Cruel Picture fame).She decides to tell Jan about her liason with Helge,which causes her boyfriend,who looks like the lost fifth member of ABBA,to reach back and pimpslap her for her honest repentance.Nobody likes a jealous dick,so Lena hits the bricks and hitchhikes to Jan's mother's cabin,with the help of an open couple,Lars and Ulla(don't you love these Swedish names?),who swim nude,sunbathe nude,and fuck right out in the open,oblivious to their young beautiful friend right in the doorway watching their copulatory exploits.

Ahem,another candid shot of Lena.You complainin'?Didn't think so.
The next day Jan shows up and escorts his little lady back to the urban landscape.They have obligatory make up sex,but something has spurred on her dormant feelings for Helge.She has flashbacks of memories with him,where he takes candid photos of her nude form on a bed,and groovy Swedish sex parties where he serves her up to whoever is interested,as he watches in a chair in the doorway while other sex kittens play with his nipples through his wide open disco shirt...and yeah,you get the idea.She has fantasies about Helge tying her to a bed and making violent love to her.The line between reality and fantasy is heavily blurred at this point,drawing to a conclusion.But is it real or just in Lena's active imagination?Watch and find out for yourself...

My first time machine destination?Directly under this right here.Yeah.
My copy of this one is in Swedish with no subtitles,and Swedish not being one of the languages I happen to be fluent in,made following the story a bit difficult the first time around,but I didn't mind watching it once or twice more to uh...understand the plot more clearly(wink,wink,nudge,nudge).Either way,an excellent opportunity to see Ms Lindberg at her very best,and for anyone who feels the same way about her as I do,this one is an absolute MUST-SEE.She's so stunningly gorgeous in every shot,clothed or nude,your eyes drink in every inch of her the entire ninety minute running time.My obvious Lindberg-fetish aside,the film is interesting,if a bit soft on the sexuality it promises to deliver,apart from some light bondage and voyeurism(and who doesn't like that,eh?).On the almighty Wopsploitation scale,it scores:

Do I have to say anything about this face?I'll let it speak for itself.