"Snake and Crane Arts of Shaolin"(1978)d/Chen Chi Hwa

Here's one of the more likable Chan efforts while under Lo Wei, around the time the uber-serious Dragon Fist(1978) was completed and utilizing much of the same cast, though this production doesn't take itself nearly as seriously, a plus, in this case.With Chan handling much of the fight choreography in tonight's period gung fu mystery that plays like Hercule Poirot with crane beak strikes, the action is mostly top notch, save for a few less-than-stellar contests between the so-called clan grandmasters.The original English dub as featured on the VHS(the longest cut of the movie available to date, thus far) or the early Simitar dvd is a real fuckin' hoot, with some of the most memorable martial one-liners you're liable to encounter on your genre travels.Regardless of the format you can track it down on, it's definitely a title that'd benefit from an exhaustive treatment from Dragon Dynasty or the like in future.The cast showcases the talents of Bruce Lee regular Nora Miao, who previously shared the screen with Chan in Wei's New Fist of Fury(1976), and looks good here, Kam Kong, a student of leg fighter Tan Tao Liang who appeared in sixty less-than-amazing titles imho, the best of which were his Chan works, and Tung Lam, a familiar face in the Shaw epics of the early seventies.It should be duly noted that, though Jackie's a cocky wiseass throughout here, most of the humor, or Lo Wei-flavored attempts at such, comes from Korean pipsqueak Kim Jeong-Nam and Lee Man-Tai, who plays one of those familiar dusty beggar-types.Did I mention the film begins with a dramatic form sequence?This one's right up there for those panning for early Chan-man gold; there may not be enough to scrape into an ingot here, but you'll score a little brilliant flake, none-the-less.Onwards.

"It's fun to stay at the...wait, where are C and A?!!?"
Some time ago, the top eight Shaolin masters of their respective gung fu styles got together and created the ultimate technique, The Eight Steps of the Snake and Crane, and managed to document the movements in a training manual, which disappeared, as did the martial artists responsible for it.Enter Hsu Yin-Feng(Jackie Chan), a mysterious stranger in town, who cockily flaunts the knowledge that he possesses the book, when he isn't dispatching opponents with brief and vulgar displays of martial power.The local clan heads seek out Hsu to try and test the Snake/Crane style against their own skills, believing he has personally killed off all the grandmasters in gaining the book for himself.Among the folks constantly pestering Hsu is one Tang Ping-Er(Nora Miao), who's looking for her missing father, and who offers him her fleshy wares for access to the manual, to which he responds, "Women are just like children. Too vague and indecisive." Amen, brother.Also perpetually on Hsu's jock is the miniature Hung Chu(Kim Jeong-Nam), a daughter to a local clan leader who's taken to gearing up like an unconvincing beggar and nagging Hsu about the book herself.Hsu offers very little information to the interested parties, instead lambasting anybody who's fool enough to challenge him along his travels, and the fights keep mounting.He defeats all comers with a cocky finesse and economy of movement(only displaying the Snake/Crane technique towards the end of the fights, after he's well perturbed by the challenges), haughtily remarking, "Having that book gives me a certain charm, though.", all the while searching for an elusively mysterious scar on the bodies of his opponents...The plot thickens.

"Just you nine lousy bastards? You must be tired of living!", says Hsu(Jackie Chan).
After much backstabbery, where clans flip sides quicker than an orangish Jersey Shore terrone baking under a sun lamp, eventually, Hsu reveals that he's been trained in the secret style by the eight grandmasters in question, one of which, Master Huang(Tung Lam) having survived the attack, sends Hsu out into the martial world with a fake manual to lure out the real killer of his colleagues, equipped with the knowledge that said killer bore a unique scar on his body.It turns out that Master Chien(Kam Kong), the head of the Black Dragon clan, has just such an identifying mark, and what's more, is the very unscrupulous sonuvabitch that Hsu has been seeking all along.The local clans band together with Hsu, and Tang follows suit as well, after the Black Dragons manage to kill off waif-esque little Hung.What unbridled unscrupulosity.Driven by a desire for revenge and to save face for his honorable teachers(and anyone who's lost it to this point, really), Hsu goes toe-to-toe with Chien, who seeks to gain the manual, and ruthlessly rule the world of pugilism with an iron fist(what else would he want the damned thing for, I ask you).Hsu comes out on top, of course, after a lengthy final battle, restoring harmony, justice, and gung fu for all practitioners everywhere.Freeze frame, please.

"Hung Chu(Kim Jeong-Nam), who dressed you, the Manson girls?"
Chan also helped coordinate stunts for this one; a well-trained eye will detect slight flares of vintage Jackie in the multitude of fights that pass before the lens during the film.I can only imagine old Lo visiting the set and schitzing out over all the film being wasted on fight choreography.Chan'd follow this entry up with the 3D period flop, Magnificent Bodyguards(1978), before embarking on his historic loan to Seasonal Films the same year.Kong also appeared in villainous garb in Jackie's Shaolin Wooden Men(1976) and Half a Loaf of Kung Fu(1978), as well as generic kung foolerly like Shaolin Kung Fu Mystagogue(1976), The 18 Bronze Girls of Shaolin(1978), and Shaolin Invincible Sticks(1979).Besides her co-starring roles in Bruce Lee's first three movies, Nora Miao also scored credits in Bruce's Deadly Fingers(1976), To Kill a Jaguar(1977), and The Kung Fu Kid(1977), later appearing in Jackie Chan's Dragon Lord(1982), as well.After directing Chan in Half a Loaf of Kung Fu(1978) also, Chen would later go on to become executive director on such epic martial fare as titles like Police Story(1984), Project A II(1987), and Police Story Part II(1988) with the actor.Like I said, this is about as solid a Lo Wei Chan-man feature as you're liable to find, though nowhere near as entertaining as Jackie's later efforts.On the scale, two Wops.Worth a look.

"Here is my handle and here is my spout!"

"Way of the Dragon"(1972)d/Bruce Lee

We haven't even gotten to the big yearly day of L-tryptophan intake, and I've already irresponsibly slacked most of the month away, but I assure you, folks, it's only because I'm busy beating on your mother's uvula with me yahzick.And so we come to the very first Bruce Lee review here at the Wop, skipping over Big Boss(1971) and Fists of Fury(1972) just to get to his third film; the global box office record breaking 'fish out of water' martial epic as written, co-produced, overdubbed, directed by, and starring the Little Dragon himself.Hell, he even helped compose the soundtrack with Joseph Koo.Is there anything that Lee, the single most familiar martial arts icon in the world(don't listen to these 98 pound weakling sand-grilled nerds with their played out Chuck Norris crap on the interwebs tubes), born Lee Jun Fan in San Francisco on November 27th, 1940, couldn't have accomplished, had he not suddenly perished on that fateful July 20th in 1973?From a martial artist's perspective, few things get the adrenaline flowing like one of Bruce's cat-like kiais that accompany his powerful techniques, almost too fast to be caught on camera, if you can believe that, and though kung fu movies have long since evolved into a more intricately choreographed ballet of brutality, Lee remains no less impressive with age, some forty years down the line.For his directorial debut, which was released in the U.S. as Return of the Dragon in 1974 to cash in on the success of his Enter the Dragon(1973) effort, Bruce enlisted the skills of Hapkido grandmaster Whang Ing-Sik, heavyweight kickboxing champion Bob Wall, and his sensei, eighth degree Tang Soo Do black belt and middleweight karate champion, Chuck Norris, in his acting(ahem) debut.Rounding out the cast here are Lee regulars, Nora Miao, Wei Ping Ao, and Bruce's lifelong friend, Unicorn Chan.

Insert risotto allo zafferano con petto d'anatra here.
Tang Lung(Bruce Lee) arrives in Rome(I swear this had no bearing on the Wopsploitation rating) to aid his friend's niece, Chen Ching Hua(Nora Miao), whose restaurant has been singled out by local mafiosi who've been using intimidation to try and force her to sell out to them.Chen, expecting one of her uncle's lawyers instead, is initially unimpressed by the naive bumpkin from the country, who's wary of banks and having difficulty with expressing himself in Italian and English to the point that he can barely order food or resist the advances of local prostitutes.At the restaurant, the workers clumsily practice karate out back to pass the time, since the gangsters continually frighten off potential customers, and even they don't think too much of Tang at first, or see how this small yokel could possibly improve their predicament.That is, until the thugs show up to do some more bullying in his presence, forcing him to take them out back, and humble them with his Chinese boxing.All comers are quickly immobilized by the the little man's fists, feet, bo staff, and dual nunchaku, from the obligatory soul brother to the Roman version of Wolfman Jack, amidst the cheers of his former detractors and skepticism of the unfortunately named Uncle Wang(Wang Chung-Hsin).The mob boss(Jon Benn), not a man easily swayed by speed-of-light spinning hook kicks, gets his flamboyantly garbed, effeminate lieutenant, Ho(Wei Ping-Ao), to send a gunman to dispatch the restaurant's new hero, but Tang nullifies his gun with wooden throwing darts and breaks his neck for his efforts.Tang warns the boss that he'll get serious if the thugs don't leave his friends alone, to which the boss responds by sending a message that he'll have Tang killed if he doesn't leave Rome pronto.Tang is unwavered by the criminal's empty threats, of course.

When wielding nunchaku in Rome, Tang Lung(Bruce Lee) knows the importance of malocchio.A good wifebeater doesn't hurt either.
The earlier gunman, now sporting a nifty neckbrace, is sent to Chen's apartment to snipe Tang, but receives more comeuppance from the proud Chinese.Chen gets kidnapped by the goons, but Tang and the boys quickly arrive on the scene to rescue her, with Tang jump kicking a ceiling light(!) and cracking his massive knuckles in the boss' face to illustrate his previous point.Ho calls on two of his friends, an American(Bob Wall) and a Japanese(Whang Ing-Sik), both of whom are martial experts, to handle the syndicate's problems, but their language barrier escalates into a fight that's only broken up by the arrival of Colt(Chuck Norris), the karate champ from America that happens to be the other American's sensei.Tang and company are lured to the country nearby to the Roman colosseum by Ho, where they are set upon by the two foreign experts, neither of which proves much of a match for Tang.While Ho goads him to give chase, the other workers exhaustedly fight the two karatekas until Uncle Wang surprises them with a knife to the kidneys, explaining that the boss had paid him well for his treachery.At the ancient arena, Tang encounters Colt instead of Ho, and the two men warm up together, achknowledging that they will battle to the death, with a small feral kitten watching in the wings.At the outset, Colt's powerful strikes overwhelm the small fighter, who increases his own quickness and fluidity to best the American, breaking his arm and one of his legs in the process.When Colt refuses to give up, Tang snaps his neck, sadly draping his gi over his battered, lifeless body out of respect, turning, and once again giving chase to Ho, who tries to sneakily escape.Meanwhile, Uncle Wang, who's shanked up all his nephews for cash, tries to shiv Tang, but gets shot along with Ho by the angry don, who arrives by car, only to see that his latest plan is another failure.Before he can shoot the tiny Chinese bane of his criminal existence, the authorities arrive and take him into custody.At the graveyard, Tang and Chen pay their last respects to their dead friends before the young man bids her adieu, finally returning home.Waaaaaaaassssssssaaaaaa!!!

"Your-ah Chinese Boxing is ah-squashing the ravioli!", says Chef Boi Ahr Di(Wang Chung-hsin).
It should also be noted that Yuen Biao also makes an early cameo here as one of Bruce Lee's whipping boys.Lee would go on to star in Enter the Dragon with Nora Miao again, ironically, his last completed motion picture before dying the same year.Unicorn Chan, who also appeared in Fists of Fury with Lee, would also meet a tragic end in a 1987 car accident in Malaysia, while Chuck Norris would again play a villain in his next movie, 1973's awful Slaughter in San Francisco, which is often packaged as a starring role for the wooden Irish/Cherokee actor of little renown, instead of the terrible Don Wong vehicle it really is.Norris wouldn't get his marquee turn until four years later with Breaker! Breaker!(1977).Lee's only directorial effort is an even-handed affair, with nice cinematography and excellent pacing that leave one pondering what he would have gone on to do should he have lived a longer life.On the scale, Way earns three solid Wops, and deserves its place on woprophiles' shelves as an exciting kung fu exercise and cult classic.Recommended.

...And with four rapid-fire kicks to the facepiece, Bruce Lee makes a Chuck Norris joke out of Chuck Norris.