Cummin' Soon: for June

As we usher in another scorcher here in our fifth year and running, we'll be blowing the lid clear off of the sexy pressure cooker here in the cult kitchens of carnage and callaloo.We'll throw some sequels under the woproscope, as well as some Italian fantasy, Times Square grindhouse classics,Dracula in Jersey,Chinese gung foolery, Japanese splatter-porn, and guest she-blogger extraordinaire, Camiele White'll be playing Point/Counterpoint on some genre fare with yours cruelly.Hopefully she'll take it easy on me.We'll also kick off a long awaited 30 Day Horror Challenge, Wopsploitation-Style, for you eager woprophiles to participate in.Strong n' long, loud n' proud as always here at the Wop, because I couldn't do it any other way, and you wouldn't have it any other way, face it.

Here are some of the titles you can look forward to reading about:

Welcome Home, Brother Charles

William Girdler's Three on a Meathook

Dracula's Last Rites

Island of the Fishmen

Leatherface:The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III

The Exterminator

Ip Man 2

Martial Club

My Young Auntie

The Re-Animator

Return of the Living Dead

Cannibal Ferox

Guts of a Virgin

[rec]
...and more so long as I can manage to maintain a steady level of professionalism despite my propensity and inborn need to party my balls off on a regular basis.Hey, you guys never gave Hemingway or Burroughs grief about the multiple back-perched simians they battled with, and prayin's for church, as Johnny of the fancy driving gloves n' goggles clan once pointed out to his drape sister Barbara in a black and white Pittsburgh graveyard many, many moons ago.Mr. Cooper mighta thunk that the cellar was the safest place to be, but it's penthouse only here at the Wop(save for those moments we take to revel in the gloriously seedy, of course) and that's just 'cuz you guys are the best readers anywhere on teh entire interwebs.You keep readin', I'll keep writin'.

Wicked as Always,

Wop

"Freaky Farley"(2007)d/Charles Roxburgh

I get a wide variety of interesting e-mail in my inbox through the site,and whether it's a person curious about one of the titles I'll look at under the wop-roscope,or a company looking to advertise their latest goodies,I answer them all,because I love the interest people show towards the genre movies that I've built the site around.If I can turn you on to a movie that ends up being one you've enjoyed,or even merits a place among your favourites,then I've done my job here,for sure.One such e-mail came very recently from someone who enjoyed my take on Lew Lehman's 1981 sleeper,The Pit,and that somebody turned out to be Matt Farley,the star/producer of tonight's entry,an original little slice of regional indie filmmaking that harkens back to the bygone days of d.i.y. splatter,as well as co-writer of a series of genre film review books you might want to look into at their Shock Marathons site,if such subject matter grabs you(and,of course it does,so go pick them up!).
So I receive a screener in the mail yesterday,with an impressive dustcover full of praise from genre staples like Shock Cinema and SCREEM,and thus,was very eager to slip it in for a viddy with me trusty headphones on,once the lovebirds took to the sack tonight.I can't put my finger on exactly what it is,but there's an atmosphere about tonight's review that reeks of the mid-eighties heyday of video rental.Maybe it's the fact that the entire production was shot on film,maybe it's the casting of amateur friends and family members,maybe it's the synth score.Whatever it is,I felt like I grabbed Farley off the shelves at General Radio in Wilkes-Barre in 1985(along with,I dunno,Nurse Sherri,Boarding House,and Des Morts),and that's a good thing,indeed.Immediately,it becomes apparent that the filmmakers have a deep-rooted love for that era,and for low budget horror flicks of that period,but the movie,for all its paens to late seventies and early eighties horror,has an innocent feel that most of those titles lack.Campy fun.Fear Freaky Farley,indeed.

"Dreamy slumber party girls" having a pillow fight in the middle of the afternoon.Lose the pj's,throw in a wading pool of massage oil,and I'm sold.
"Freaky" Farley Wilder(Matt Farley)is one of several neighborhood oddballs.There's a bearded hobo,a witch,and a guy in a Party City ninja costume all vying for top flake in the cereal bowl.In comparison,Farley's more the misunderstood,maladjusted type in a striped Where's Waldo shirt,considering he seems to only peep tom the town's female populace when they're fully clothed.Farley relates his tragic story to a doctor's tape recorder while chained(!)in a mental institution visiting room.After his mother's untimely death,his totalitarian father(Kevin McGee)regularly has the youngster digging ditches in the woods then filling them up,everytime he disobeys.Fast forward to adult Farley,who still dresses like a Long John Silver's cashier.He purposely ignores the wooden pleas of his pop to grow up,choosing to float down river in an inner tube rather than get a job at the phone company(after his come ons to the elderly job interviewer are unwantedly successful(!!)),resisting the juvenile teasing of his full-grown female neighbor(who wears pig tails and rides a bicycle)and the cautionary warnings of dangerous nearby Morgantown woods full o' trogs from the bearded hobo,who gaffles his inner tube in the process.

Scarlet(Sharon Scalzo)unleashes 'cutie-pie fu' on one of the town's resident nutbags.
Until he meets the daringly sweet Scarlet(Sharon Scalzo),who's writing a manuscript about all the local nutbags,and helps her new friend bloom away from the wall for a change.They steal the keys to his father's cabin and plan a rendezvous there,but when Farley's old man shows up on the scene,interrupting his son's pumpkin-carving and dropping the "yer momma done been offed by de trogs,not no car accident no how!" bombshell,he stabs his dad to death with the carving tool.Outside the cabin,Scarlet has fallen prey to the foul beasts in ghillie suits and rubber claws(I could have sworn I spotted a sneaker or two in there,as well haha)and with her dying breath tells Farley to get her manuscript published,which he translates to "kill everyone you can with that carving tool,Farley!",and goes on the obligatory apeshit killing spree,tearing foliage from trolls and stabbing up some jock throwing the pigskin around with a buddy.He's about to unleash seasonal orange metal vengeance on the annoying girl next door,when he gets bricked upside the domepiece by the fragile guy in the ninja suit,landing him in his current nuthouse predicament.Luckily for him,the mayor is at wit's end about the town's trog problem,so after hiring the witch to spook the beasts away with spells(!),he releases Farley from the mental hospital to help her for one day since he's shown prowess in defeating the foul forest-dwelling hellspawns(!!),and even thrown the ninja into the mix,since he's apparently Farley's "arch-enemy"(!!!)after the brick incident.The witch gets eighty-sixed by trogs,but Farley springs into action,tearing the creatures asunder with his bare hands(you REALLY owe it to yourselves to check out the dialogue in this portion of the film,it's rich,indeed.).Afterwards,he thumps the ninja and makes off for the radio station where the aforementioned pest next door has a show,thanks to Farley's dad.He breaks in,and slices up the station manager and his pigtailed object of hate,before declaring on-the-air,that Freaky Farley is loose.Cue some appropriately cheesy maniacal laughter here.

Hey Farley,I'll have three chicken planks,add a piece of fish,hushpuppies,and a large Mountain Dew.Hold the freaky.
For more up-to-date info on what Matt and his minions have planned next,you'll want to check out the New England based MoternMedia site,where you can access their music releases,as well as their films.Their next film project,a co-production with Goblin Universe,"Don't Let The River Beasts Get You!"(peppy title,guys.)is scheduled for a 2012 release.I've gotta give these guys a major tip of the cabbie for shooting with film,a much appreciated rarity here in the days of digital video.As always,I'm gonna repeat the mantra,"support indie filmmakers",and check out what they have to offer,which,for most of you woprophiles out there,will be a refreshing change of pace against the sea of studio-concocted CGI-driven crap that turns up on SciFi(or "SyFy",for you douchebag hipsters)more often than not.I'd place Farley right next to guilty eighties pleasures like Cannibal Campout,Splatter University,or The Ripper,low in budgetary means,but high in entertainment value.Get your hands on a copy.

What an adorable scream,don'tcha think?

"Brainstorm"(1983)d/Douglas Trumbull

So, I’m CowboyX, an old friend of the Big Wop and, no, I won’t stamp ‘O’s, I like ‘X’s and just might put one on both of your eyes. Many an inebriated and drugged evening was spent watching movies with Big Wop and Doc and I learned oh so much from the Cultural Guru himself. I enjoy some good SciFi, probably more than horror, and get real pissed at terrible Hollywood crap movies which just seem to keep coming out. See my facebook group for my thoughts on the last Star Trek asshole movie.If I could direct Bruce Dern in Silent Running (1972) and then Christopher Walken in this gem I could die happy. Let’s all applaud Douglas Trumbull for a job well done. Clap! Little boots.Nevermind the SFX work on 2001:ASO, Blade Runner, Close Encounters, etc. all of which shows in the thoughtful and believable “Brainstorm” scenes. Trumbull proves he can deliver complex messages in an entertaining manner without explosions and laser swords. So I chose this movie as my first guest review and an example of well done Science Fiction.

Walken plays Dr. Michael Brace, the younger and less experienced of a pair of research scientists working at well-funded research lab in North Carolina. He works with Lillian Reynolds (Louise Fletcher) whose chain-smoking might envy our dear Big Wop. Fletcher looks like she is about to crawl into her tomb from over work and cigs while a young Walken’s exaggerated features, gestures, and voice are all put to good use. Together they work for Alex Terson (Cliff Robertson) whose appears to be a venture capitalist in charge of a successful research company but is really hiding connections to the government and military in that hair. Robertson’s wig, along with his acting, is in admiral form in this film.
The underlying science fiction concept of the script deals with the development of new technologies and their use or misuse, particularly by the military. Walken’s character, Brace, idolizes the Wright Brothers for their genius vision and daring. The audience is left to make the connection to the benefits and costs, good and bad developments, that come from such remarkable breakthroughs. In this case, a machine that allows us to record thoughts and emotions and then to replay them .However, the lines are blurred as individuals involved with the project also explore the machine’s uses, some for benevelance, as when Michael uses it to repair his failed marriage with Karen (Natalie Wood). Others use it for ‘perceived’ badness (but my first inclination)…PORN![Natalie Wood fell off her boat in a drunken haze and drowned. I really couldn’t care less other than the movie almost wasn’t released. I tried to look for the parts where they used a stand-in for her but I couldn’t see any.]

Fletcher’s character finally succumbs to stress and tar as her heart and arteries kill her once and for all. Kill-kill-kill die-die-die. No, nitro tablets won’t help this time. But Dr. Reynolds, ever the scientist, won’t quit. She decides to record the experience for yet another breakthrough in answering the question of the afterlife - making us underachievers look bad again, huh? Michael finally understands what Lillian was trying to teach him about the importance of using their genius (instead of having it used) even as he realizes the importance of what he has lost with his wife.Meanwhile and predictable, the military/government wants to get its hands on the invention and use it for what appears to be defense, firing missles and the like. However, Michael soon finds out that the government has experimented in brainwashing and torturing people. Michael decides that he has redeem his invention by viewing the Lillian death tape himself. The conflict between the visionaries and the hack scientists culminates in…in…in Walken racing away in his totally cool brown and orange Bronco and with some clever “computer” “hacking” by his cohorts.

Almost 30 years later, the technology portrayed stands up pretty good. Although the portable Brainstorm machines they carry around do vaguely remind me of the GIANT top-loading VCR Big Wop used to have in his living room, they are believable even with the dated computer graphics. The most glaring example of a piece of technology dating the film might be the continued use of dial-up data transmission. It can break the illusion but isn’t a deal killer.The sets, especially the lab/factory complex where Michael and Lillian work and the Brace’s awesome swimming pool/home, adds a futuristic yet timeless look which could be today…I wish I had a swimming pool in my house today. Well-appointed, they suggest success and wealth gained from the harnessing of genius in a controlled manner. Michael is oblivious to the true potential of his invention or the real persons in control. He is also selfish and arrogant according to his wife. This is reflected in Michael’s rude, spoiled brat son Chris (who you might recognize as Rusty from European Vacation). If I could walk into this movie I’d beat that kid. Also, what could be more pompous and prententious than riding a recumbent bike?The characters are well developed through a clever use of the device at the focus of the film. Through “Brainstorm” flashbacks we see important clues into them, Michael’s ambition, Lillian’s sacrificing for her work, and even Wood’s unfulfilled love for Michael. This adds a lot of backstory in a believable way. There’s a few good Walken quotes including a flashback scene to the Brace’s wedding where Walken is sporting some kind of ponytail and sings “let’s do the twist” like Dracula.
“You’re strangling me, Karen.”
He also has some remarkable outbursts in the lab, “you can lock it up, but you can’t make it work!”
Yeah, not very quotable and not as memorable, but you can see the elements of Walken’s exaggerated style that would become so good.For that...3 B.W.s