"Dragon's Claws" (1979) d/ Joseph Kuo

As Randy "Macho Man" Savage once said in a famous post-Wrestlemania III wrestling promo, the cream will rise to the top. Ooh yeah. In the world of vintage martial arts movies, you can argue whether Shaw Brothers or Golden Harvest represents that cream at the genre top for days on end, during which time, Hong Hwa Studios would have churned out three mediocre, low budget movies that copycat the former two studios' box office successes. Take 1979's Dragon's Claws for example, which most resembles a Jacky Chan period kung fu comedy from his breakout era, i.e. Fearless Hyena (1979), Snake in the Eagle's Shadow (1978), or Drunk Monkey in a Tiger's Eye (1979), except there's no Jacky Chan, the kung fu isn't as good, and the comedy is mostly inappropriate stuff that'll leave you feeling itchy.


"But who else...coooooooould be.",  ponders Ling Ko Fung (Wong Cheng Li).
We meet Ling Ko Fung (Wong Cheng Li), a master of the 'Dragon's Claws' technique, as he bullies his way back from a stint in Manchuria, challenging the sickly current master of the style, Lung Chen Tien (Lin Ho-Nien), for supremacy and a fancy gold tablet saying so, currently in Lung's possession. Lung's illness stems from that time he chloroform hankied Li Hua (Kan Chia-Fong), Cosby-style,  into marriage, forcing the kung fu queen to dragon claw the martial pervert in the chest, leaving him with the tell-tale five fingerprints of eventual death. Though Ling doesn't seem as evil and Lung not as righteous at the outset, the characters soon revert back to the typical straight forward, two dimensional type you'd expect in a movie like this. Ling defeats Lung, who dies, and snags himself the gold tablet, only it's a fake, causing him to send out his two buddies, Red Monster (Chu Tiet-Wo) and Green Monster (Chan Lau), to find Li Hua and her mostly useless son (she calls him a "dickhead" at one point), Lung Hsia (Jimmy Liu), and recover the real one.


Focused chi power or massive fart rip? You decide.
Li's son vows revenge for the murder of his father, but his lack of martial skill earns him the aforementioned five fingerprints of gradual death at the hands of Ling. Luckily for him, the local dirty beggar (Wang Pao-Chien) who peels pears in mid-air just so happens to be his mother's uncle, and the true master of Dragon's Claws technique. After curing young Lung of the kung fu poisons in his system (by forcing him to drink a pot full of little boys' piss...yeah, just let me die in agony, thanks) he toughens him up with a mostly unimpressive, sloppy-looking training regimen, and none too soon, either, as Red and Green have sent his poor mother to meet Buddha. With Lung's training finally complete, the beggar blows the clambake, leaving the young man to discover his mother's lifeless body with Red and Green waiting in the wings. Then it's a Lung v Ling finale, as you might have expected, but less spectacularly so.


Bruce Lee never collected little boys' urine in a pot. Just saying.
Korean leg fighter extraordinaire, Wong Cheng Li/ Hwang Jang Lee deserves much better than this movie, which falls well short of his pugilistic collaborations with Jacky Chan, and places slightly above his numerous big screen square offs against fellow Korean, Dragon Lee. Liu Chia-Liang's nephew, Jimmy, who stars here, is adequate at best,  but no Master Killer, by any stretch of the imagination. The prolific Kuo directed five other movies in 1979, including other cheap Chan rip-offs like Mystery of Chess Boxing and World of Drunken Master. Quantity over quality, I suppose. Tonight's entry is the kind of kung fu movie that people who'll watch anything, ignorant to the integral ingredients that comprise a high caliber example (acting,  fight choreography,  costumes,  sets, soundtrack, etc. ) of the genre, would suggest to you. Not me. One Wop. Hold out for a Shaw Brothers/ Golden Harvest production, instead.


"You'll die!" "You're the one who'll die!" And the 1979 winner for Best Screenplay goes to...

"Crystal Fist" (1979) d/ Hwa I Hung

From the instant lead pugilist Billy Chong's title sequence form kicks into high gear over the opening credits, you should already know what a tempest whirlwind of martial action you're in for. Tonight's review, also known under it's alternate "Jade Claw" title, is Chong's starring debut; a Kung Fu Theater staple throughout the eighties on Philadelphia and New York stations like WPHL and WWOR, packed to the gills with quality kung foolery, beautiful training and form sequences, and breathtaking fight choreography from Simon Yuen's sons Brandy and Shun-Yi (who also doubled for Chong and elder Yuen during the trickier maneuvers), so much so, in fact, that it bears striking resemblance to Yuen's elder son's (Yuen Woo Ping, for those keeping track) groundbreaking genre work with Jackie Chan, leading to the inevitable 'Chan copycat' tag that would wrongfully follow the Indonesian action star for years to follow. Pay such damning comparisons no mind, especially in the case of tonight's focus: a classic in every sense of the word.

 
Farcical physical slapstick humor? Check.
Young Wen is orphaned when Master Yen(Chu Tiet Wo) erase his father(Hau Chau Sing) from the equation with his deadly Double Phoenix Eye fist and help from his two henchmen, Deaf and Blind(Brandy Yuen, Addy Sung). Now a young man (Billy Chong) looking to learn martial arts to exact revenge, he poses as an instructor to gain entry to a local kung fu school, and is taken on as a kitchen hand to the Cook (Simon Yuen), when he's not being used as a punching bag by Fatty and Skinny (Lung Ga Chun, David Woo),  the assistant teachers. Feeling sorry for Wen after much pranking (of the prosthetic smashed big toes variety and then some) transpires, the Cook begins to teach him the Eagle Claw technique through a painful-looking montage of training exercise and sheer physical endurance, and it isn't long before Wen is an adept enough fighter to protect his nation's honor against a cocky Russian ( Alexander Grand), but the tail end of his humbling lesson is witnessed by Yen, who instantly recognizes the Eagle Claw technique of his rival, and attacks Wen on his way home.

 
Impossibly difficult training sequences that border on the sadistic, really? Check.
Yen and his thugs viciously beat the young pupil, burning his hand in a fire and smashing the jade his father had given to him, but he manages to escape with his life. When the cook sees Wen's broken jade, he realizes who he really is, and vows to teach him the shadow eagle's claw style to defeat Yen's Phoenix Eye and avenge his father's death.Cue: dramatic forms sequence, and Wen's ready to dole it back out in droves.After he puts a jerk off nobleman who lets his German Shepard eat off a restaurant table in his place and beating the stuffing out of Fatty and Skinny, he squares off against Blind and Deaf and double handicaps both of them.When he finds Yen, he's laughing maniacally, having just set the young man's digs on fire. Man, this guy is hardcore. With the building burning to the ground behind them, the men majestically fight to the death, both with weapons and finally, barehanded, where Wen unleashes the secret shadow eagle's claw upon his foe, and in an acrobatic slo-mo, crushes Yen's throat, leading to a Shaw-esque final freeze.


Avenging a father's volent, untimely death at the hands of a power-mad warlord? Check.
Chong would follow up this hit for Eternal Films with another Hung film,  A Hard Way To Die(1979), and 1980's Super Power. The two would work together again the following year in the legendary Kung Fu Zombie(1981). The Ocean Shores clamshell VHS under the Crystal Fist title boasts of the only uncut print I've seen of the movie, with the profanity and fight violence excised from the television edit intact, though I can't say I've given any of the cheap bare bones dvds I've seen of it much attention. If any classic golden era kung fu movie needs a special edition widescreen restoration, this one gets my vote. As one my all-time favorites of the genre, I'd write about it all day if you let me. If you're into this sort of thing, you can't go wrong. Highly recommended. Four wops.


"Attack the heart, and then the lungs... Tired?? TOO BAD!!!"