"To The Devil...A Daughter" (1976) d/ Peter Sykes

I dunno about you guys, but I'm suddenly feeling the initial vibes of another theme to focus our critical lens upon here at the Wop, and demonology and witchcraft-themed flicks have always been favorites of mine (obviously), so unless there are any objections,  it's unanimous. Tonight's review, the last horror film out of iconic Hammer Studios for over thirty years, is a very good one, indeed. Permeating director Peter Sykes' frame with a sense of dread and real evil is the regal Christopher Lee, who treats the role of an excommunicated priest-turned-cult-leader with great relish and aplomb, as always, with the likes of Richard Widmark, Denholm Eliott, and a budding Nastassja Kinski along to help realize Christopher Wicking's strong screenplay, adapted from occult specialist Dennis (The Devil Rides Out, et al) Wheatley's novel.


"As you can very well see, I derive a significant amount of pleasure from the worship of Astaroth."
After being excommunicated from the Church for heresy, Father Michael (Christopher Lee) spends the next decades scheming to bring about the physical rebirth of Astaroth using the body of the teenage daughter of a man named Henry Beddows (Denholm Elliott) as the animate vessel through a gruesome matricidal ritual. Beddows recants on his pact with 'ol Scratch by enlisting a popular occult novelist named Verney (Richard Widmark) to protect his child from the former priest and his demonic disciples. Verney deftly stashes Catherine (Nastassja Kinski), who's lived a sheltered existence thus far, as a nun in Germany, at his London flat, with his associates Anna (Honor Blackman) and David (Anthony Valentine) helping to conceal her until he can further research Beddows' predicament. Verney states that ninety-eight percent of so-called Satanists are just sexual deviates seeking out new kinky thrills, but the remaining two percent are very definitely cause for great concern.


"Hold my inverted cross, boys, I'm goin' all the way like The Raspberries!"
Varney soon learns that it's the dreaded other two percent that he's foolishly gotten involved with, as Father Michael oversees the birth of a horrible, misshapen baby demon out of it's mother's abdomen during a wild Satanic orgy, while Catherine eagerly cops to being a willing disciple of Michael's, displaying a gold  pendant of Astaroth upon an inverted cross she was given as a present for her upcoming eighteenth birthday, the desired date for the arrival of the crown prince of Hell. As Varney grills a Bishop for historical background on Father Michael, and browses the very pages of The Grimoire of Astaroth that Father Michael had, twenty-six years earlier, Catherine, under the influence of the sinister ex-priest, shanks a watchful Anna in the neck with a steel comb and escapes to her awaiting sect. Will the author save the girl from the impending forces of darkness? Or will evil triumph in it's climactic battle against good for the ages? Score yourselves a copy and see how it all turns out...


"What's the big idea, peltin' Robert Tessier with tomatoes?!!?"
Despite the silly, floppy, rubber devil-baby (say that six times fast, why don't ya), I'm of the belief that the less in tune critics that wrongfully panned this one back in 1976 were probably shocked by the film's somber tone and heavy erotic vibes, having been lulled by the familiarity of the studio's track record; relying heavily upon burlesque thrills and corny chills to a fault. What they had here was in fact, a legitimate horror movie, an effective companion piece to Hammer's own earlier occultish effort, The Devil Rides Out (1968). Though star Richard Widmark called it the one mistake of his acting career, and even Christopher Lee (who does not provide his own ass in the production, for the record) found at least one sequence to be quite obscene, I found it well worthy of three Wops on the rating scale, and recommend that you hunt down a copy and see for yourselves what I mean.


...and to the Devil's daughter...I dunno, maybe a bikini wax?

" The Devils" (1971) d/ Ken Russell

Before the inevitable influx of knee jerk religious zealotry comes raining down on this post, I've scheduled some flagellation in my personal fornicatory at the hands of twin raven-haired Wop-ettes in nun costumes for myself, having allowed such a blasphemous and incendiary piece of cinematic filth to slither it's evil way among my list of all-time favorite movies. Yea, though I greatly admire the powerful visual style of directorial conspirator, Ken Russell, who also hath writ the screenplay ( based upon the Aldous Huxley novel, The Devils of Loudon),  I shall also give thanks and praise to the dramatic contributions of those actors who would bring these shocking images to light, specifically Oliver Reed, though Michael Gothard, Dudley Sutton, Gemma Jones, and a hunchbacked Vanessa Redgrave all compliment Reed in supporting roles here. Riveting, disturbing stuff whose punch has lost very little, if any, potency, despite the passing of forty-plus years and countless censor's cuts, though one should pay heed to the poster's warning, as this is definitely not a film for every one...


I had a hunch that Sister Jeanne (Vanessa Redgrave) would be back...
The time is the seventeenth century, the place is France. At one of King Louis XIII's less masculine get together's, Cardinal Richelieu is buzzing about uppity protestants, suggesting the country's city fortifications all be torn down, to which the monarch agrees, excluding the town of Loudon, of course, as he had made a promise not to do such a thing, to it's governor, in the past. Only the governor has since turned his toes up, leaving the city's control in the hands of Urbain Grandier(Reed), a priest who's as insatiable for political power as he is for snug cunny, as evidenced by the number of Loudon women who daydream about receiving the holy in-out from him (even hunchbacked women of the cloth like Sister Jeanne(Redgrave) wouldn't mind drying his feet after a lengthy water walk with their scarlet tresses), and the growing number of rival priest's daughters suddenly pregnant at his doing is nothing to sneeze at, either.


"Take this spear wound, all of you, and lick obscenely at it, as though it were a vagina.", whispers dream-Jesus(Ollie Reed).
When an elitist Baron's (Sutton) attempt to carry out orders to bring down Loudon's walls are thwarted by a steadfast Grandier, backed by the city's army, he joins forces with Father Mignon (Murray Melvin), whose pregnant daughter has been rejected by Grandier. Meanwhile, Grandier has secretly married another woman (Jones), the news of which bodes ill upon the fragile psyche of Sister Jeanne, who implicates the priest in all manner of blasphemous charges to Mignon und Baron, who, in turn, enlists the services of a lanky drink of water inquisitor named Father Barre (Gothard) to get to the bottom of it all, even if it means pumping foul enemas up the asses of every nun at the convent in doing so.The King shows up in disguise during an exorcism, claiming to have a relic containing the blood of Christ to use in the cleansing spiritual rite, but after Barre appears to have used it successfully to clear the sisters of demons, the monarch flips it open to reveal it was empty in the first place. Good one, Louie. The still-"possessed" sisters pull the crucified statue of Christ from the wall and rape it in every conceivable manner, to celebrate. Grandier and his wife return just in time to catch the party, and are subsequently taken into custody by the Baron's soldiers. All that follows, you should really experience for yourselves.


Q: How many of these women are committing blasphemy? A: Nun.
Religious faith is a funny thing. Some people are content to believe what they believe and carry on their lives in a relatively normal fashion, while some treat their faith as an elitist badge of authority over others who don't share them, and some commit unspeakable crimes against their fellow man within the protective umbrella of their religious teachings. Who's wrong? Who's right? Let 'em scrap it out among themselves until the end of time if it's so important to them to find out what's waiting for them after they're gone. I'm more focused on enjoying the finer things in what life I've got left to live, with the people I care about, that care about me. I think if everybody gave that a shot,  we might be alright, after all. But we're just humans, hahaha. So we won't. I'd be more worried that you didn't give The Devils a shot, though, as it really is an extraordinary film, worth all the discourse and analysis one could possibly invest in it, and then some. Once you have, let me know what you think. Obviously, four wops.


"Is it too late to pass on martyrdom for the five quid and what's behind curtain number two?"

"Malabimba"(1979)d/Andrea Bianchi

Just when you thought Italian sleaze king Andrea Bianchi couldn't get any sleazier than fare like "Le notte del terrore(Burial Ground)" or "Nude per l'assassino(Strip Nude For Your Killer)",he out-sleazes himself,shooting a superlative slab of cinematic sleaze so sleazy your whole body'll be itchy hours after screening it.You might even feel the need to slip an extra fiver in the collection plate on Sunday.A mostly forgotten Mediterranean paen to The Exorcist,Malabimba focuses not on the strengths of its tribute;plot and strong character study,but in a scathing attack against religious beliefs,moral fiber,and family values, pushes the envelope right to the goddamned post office.In tonight's entry the director replaces black-gloved killers and bobbler-biting midget zombies with oversexed teenaged girls,boatloads of profanity and blasphemies,and inserted penetration shots and on camera fellatio.If directors were gauged on how many shots of pubic wool they could fit into eighty-eight minutes,Bianchi'd have rendered himself Ingmar Bergman here.Where other directors might have passed on or at least gently handled sensitive,potentially shocking subject matter like this,he cuts to the chase,and rolls the fuck around in it like a prize hog in the smelliest trough.In other words,you won't wanna miss this one!

Bimba(Katell Laennec)browses her own bobblers.
Damned seances.Always shattering the tranquility of otherwise normal families,or so it seems.Tonight's story focuses on the once rich,always morally bankrupt family of Andrea (Enzo Fisichella),who can't afford his castle payments anymore.Give me some of those problems,buddy. Wracked by memories of his dead wife Daniela, he makes arrangements for a seance(Cazzo no!) to contact her spirit,but the medium (Elisa Mainardi) instead ressurects a foul,dick-crazed banshee named Lucrezia,who abruptly rents out the soul of Andrea's sixteen-year-old daughter Bimba (Katell Laennec). Andrea's mother encourages him to marry the curvaceous and sensual Nais (Patrizia Webley),a former prostitute and the wife of his bed-ridden paralyzed brother Adolfo (Giuseppe Marrocu),so they can continue to live the life of Riley on poor Adolfo's lira once the burden of his care is lifted by the Grim Reaper.Nais,a creation paste queen of the lowest order,willingly carries out the plan,blue-balling Andrea while simultaneously sexing up her shaft-on-the-side,Giorgio (Giancarlo Del Duca).Think Young and the Restless,if Satan was a recurring character...

Errr,my class ring...seem to have lost it in here...somewhere...
Speaking of young and restless,Bimba bungs her chastity down the lavvy at this point,turning into a blasphemy-spouting,junk grabbing,crotch displaying bundle of hormones.Her family's doctor slags it off as a sex disorder,but Lucrezia's in there,just like Prego sauce,if Prego suddenly made you display your hairy crotch to your guests while calling your granny an old whore at the dinner table(save talk like that for the parlour,young lady!),fuck your stuffed animal collection(I hear the Christmas elf knows how to pound a vadge),or suddenly tongue kissing your father(!) while jostling him by the berries(!!).It seems Lucrezia's spirit has a hard on for old Adolfo's nurse,Sister Sofia.You can probably figure out where this is going.After Bimba slinks into Uncle Adolfo's room,strips,shows the old boy her hairy bush and budding hardbody,she takes out the cripple's cock and sucks him off(!!!),which kills the poor bastard.After watching some appropriately hairy inserted hardcore segments with the possessed young girl,the nun does the only thing that will save her immortal soul.Did you guess lesbian sex?Give yourself a pat on the back.The horny succubus then transfers into the nun Exorcist-style,which causes the sister to chuck herself from the castle to the pavement below,rather than walk the earth forever rubbing her own fun circles,like some Madonna video.The young girl and her father reunite,and this time,nobody's junk gets rubbed.

"There's enough wool there to knit an afghan!" says grossed-out Granny.
Some of you out there might be appalled at the nakedness in a few of tonight's screenshots(frankly,they might be the first bit of womanhood some of you might have ever seen,sad effers),and really,after watching this one,you might find yourself running for the nearest bible,dildo,or both,if I know one or two of you.Tonight's entry is available through the superior Diabolik DVD,and Severin Films did a smashing job restoring most of the sleaze on display here,although the deleted scenes look to originate from a grainy video at the bottom of some pervert's underwear drawer somewhere.The optional English subs really don't do any justice to the steady stream of verbal Italian filth spewed throughout the production,so learn some Italian,dammit.You won't find Dick Smith-level possession makeups here,or any makeup,which is a tribute in part to the acting skills of Laennec,who didn't do anything else,sadly.Mariela Giordano was also in Giallo a Venezia,Patrick Vive Ancora,and of course,famously in Le notte del terrore,among a slew of other genre pics.Though the hardcore sex and blasphemy might be a little tough to get through for some(nobody I know or wanna know,trust me),and I've given the film just one BW,on a good night it merits two scented handiwipes and six or so ounces of moisture locking lotion,as well.

That ain't bragiole in those drawers.