Monday, December 22, 2008

Behind the Green Door(1972) d/ Artie Mitchell

 photo Behindthegreendoor_zpsc668e15f.jpg Porn is like wine,the older the vintage, the better it is.But for a lot of folks, porn is also like having a retarded uncle in diapers,you like your uncle,but you don't talk about him if you don't have to.To each his own.I personally enjoy a good porno from time to time,and the line between arthouse indie flicks and good old fashioned fucksuckathons,though blurred by perverts like glass eyed Jess Franco and his out-of-focus zooms in the '70s,have been all but obliterated by current fare like "The Brown Bunny","Ken Park",and "Battle in Heaven",all of which make no qualms about displaying explicit sex acts onscreen.In the heyday of mainstream stroke flicks,this entry was top tier,boasting of the first XXX appearance of Ivory Snow girl,Marilyn Chambers,and after the high powered sexual kinks and hijinks she breezed through here,there wasn't a soap powder in the world that could clean this girl's reputation.As Audrey Rose used to say...Hothothothothothot!
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The Ivory Snow girl tackles different kinds of stains in her porno debut.
The film commences with two men entering a fast food place. The owner asks them about a mysterious matter. With considerable reservation, one of the two guys agrees to relate the sordid tale.Cue flashback:the two men,truck drivers by trade,are in a terrace next to a lake,telling each other stories, as an attractive blonde named Gloria(Marilyn Chambers) sits at a table nearby.Later the same woman is abducted.The truckers attend an exclusive sex club that night,only to be stunned by the evening's entertainment. When the blindfold is removed from Gloria, a woman welcomes her. After a relaxing massage, she is accompanied by 6 women dressed as nuns,onto a stage,in front of masked men and women of all shapes,sizes,and degrees of hairy. An emcee explains to the potpourri of perverts in attendance that the woman will be shown every pleasure imaginable.
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Porn isn't scary?Imagine coming home and seeing THIS witchdoctor on top of your old lady.
The 6 women first show the girl the pleasures of sapphic sex,prepping her for penile pentration by pro boxer Johnny Keyes,made up like some makeshift tribal witchdoctor(his toothy necklace would later become one of his porn trademarks).After a rollercoaster marathon of interracial intercourse,she takes to her knees to orally service a trio of trapeze chappies.While the audience voyeuristically view the raunchy debacle,they become aroused to the point that the entires affair progresses into a high gear free-for-all orgy.There's a whole lotta fuckin' n' suckin' going on,and not much of it very pretty. The owner of the fast food place asks what happened afterwards, but the men wisely plead the fifth.
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The greatest triple trapeze suck n' jerk ever filmed.
Raking in fifty Million boxoffice bucks on a five thousand dollar investment catapulted the little porno that could into all-time cult status,no small feat in the early days.Helping cement the film's success was participation by pro athletes like footballer Ben Davidson(in a non-sex role)and the aforementioned boxer Keyes.Fifteen crucial minutes of footage never made it out of the developing lab,and some twenty or so years later,Jim Mitchell murdered his brother/director Art with a gun.Chambers,19 years old in this performance, perpetualized her porn path well into the 1990's.Any entrepreneurial young ladies who'd fancy kidnapping me and forcing me to knock their collective bottoms out in front of an audience,I give you this:What the hell's stopping you.I'd imagine it shocked theatergoers back in 1972,and still packs enough cinematic carnality to titilate today.I give it a very reasonable wopsploitation score of:
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Make no mistakes about it,this is one GROOVY cumshot.
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