Rogue(2007)d/Greg Mclean

As the sound of jingle bells approach,I figured I'd throw my crew here a few newer morsels to snack on,in the holiday spirit.Let me kick this off by saying I'm a proud member of the pro-Wolf Creek camp,and I've run into an assload of people that stand diametrically opposed to that particular movie since its release.Personally,I thought Mclean's reinvention of the Crocodile Dundee type as a murderous sociopath was a minor bit of genius.His next work,stands as a suspenseful and enjoyable man vs. nature rollercoaster ride,with solid performances,excellent,realistic animatronic/cgi effects,effective gore,and packed with enough thrills for any discerning horror nuts out there.Thus far,those I've sat down to screen this little number have all come away with positive results.I think you just might,too.

The floating smorgasbord,er,sightseeing tour embarks on its journey.
Pete McKell(Michael Vartan) is a yank journalist on assignment in the northern territory of the Australian outback.As a change of pace from the leathery ciggie-smoking Abos and the sweltering heat,he decides to join a disparate group of holidayers on a river cruise through Kakadu National Park,headed by Kate(Radha Mitchell) the tour guide,and her faithful mutt.There's the quarreling married couple, the cancer survivor and her supportive family, the annoying and rotund camera junkie and the introspective widower(John Jarratt,the evil fucker from Wolf Creek) out to spread his wife’s ashes, all along for the ride.After an uneventful afternoon of swatting flies,bickering amongst each other,and watching salt water crocs piss away their last shreds of reptilian dignity jumping out of the water for raw chickens,Kate is alerted to what looks like a distress signal in the canyon rocks farther up the river just as they're about to pack it all in for the day.She decides to be a good samaritan and take the party off to search for the origins of the signal.I wouldn't do that,sweet'eart.

High on the list of the last things you'd ever wanna see while swimming in the Australian outback.
Before too long,our hapless holiday party finds itself landlocked on a tidal island that gets smaller by the minute,their sightseeing boat sinking on the shore due to an unseen underwater whap! from what has to be King Shit of Crocodile Mountain.When Kate's mates show up to tease her from their own boat,that same whap! flips their vessel over,and makes singular their cocky duo.Neil(Sam Worthington)deftly sheds his asshole status and valiantly tries to lead the people to the safety of the opposite shore before the rising tide engulfs the whole land mass.Revealed soon afterwards,the tourists have stumbled into the territory of a rogue crocodile of monstrous proportions,some 23 plus feet long(7 meters),and weighing over three tons.This giant isn't at all pleased with his new company,and has plans for each of them that involve a repetitious dinner bell.Will anyone survive?Will the croc give himself agita?The final reel will have you perched precariously on the edge of your seat until the final credits roll.

23 feet of 3 ton croc plus cocky Aussie equals this.
This has to my favorite monster crocodilian flick since Alligator(1980) or Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive(1976),though it far surpasses either of those on every level.The photography is stellar,the camera is placed magnificently in every shot,showcasing the splendor of the giant country against the insignificance of humanity when it's been hopelessly lost inside it.I look forward to seeing a lot more from Greg Mclean,as the land down under has certainly upped its own ante in the grand scheme of the global horror picture.Get yer mitts on this with all speed,and throw it in,the emperor not only approves,but in this case,he highly recommends.On the scale,Rogue merits a solid:

Hope that wasn't your throwing arm,matey.