In essence,a remake of Baltimore byproduct Dohler's earlier(even cheaper!)film,The Alien Factor,Nightbeast packs an amateur punch like no other rubbery-alien-in-silver-disco-suit-with-prop-laser-pistol-rampages-through-backyards-in-Maryland production ever has or probably ever will.There's a little something for everyone here.Cheap gore slathered over fried egg eighties boobs with a side order of uncomfortably staged love scenes and piss-poor optical laser effects.What makes amateur filmmakers tackle ambitious sci-fi/horror projects,when they know their production values will hinder them from making anything close to what they were shooting for in the first place is beyond me.But I sincerely hope they NEVER stop trying,as laughs(even unintentional ones) are so hard to come by these days.
From the dark recesses of outer space it came,to play with your entrails.
A homicidal alien life form,decked out in silver lame' and bent on total destruction of mankind crashes his interplanetary vessel...in Maryland.Poor otherworldly bastard.Some local hunters see the ship plummetting out of the night sky,and converge on the site to investigate further,only to be dispatched by a small laser gun that envelops its target in red light before incinerating it into a pile of smouldering ashes.Once the local population has an idea of what it's up against,Sheriff Cinder is called on to defend the townspeople,with the help of Deputy Lisa,a girl who likes her men like she likes her omelettes:flabby,no acting ability,and a perm.The flabby,perm-coiffed sheriff woodenly deducts(I smell an uncomfortable,uninspired sex scene in the works) that their first course of action would logically be to call in a geryatric marksman to shoot the laser pistol out of the beast's hand(!).Though many good extras get vaporized in the battle,the old geezer manages to blast the bastard's blaster,forcing the alien to tear his victims apart with his bare hands now,instead.The residents of Perry Hill,MD are in the middle of a low tech nightmare,that they can't awaken from...
Consider yourself laserized...hardcore,you goofy motherfucker!
Cinder visits Bert,the mayor(!),in an effort to convince the politician to evacuate the town until the intergalactic fiend has been subdued.Bert isn't buying,since he's got a highly important pool party coming up that afternoon,and he wants to impress the governor.Cinder evacuates the town without Bert's authorization anyway,rendering the whole previous scene worthless unless you enjoy watching non-actors channelling scenes from Jaws.During a run-in with the Nightbeast,the sheriff injures his leg,and when he and Lisa escape to her place,she dresses and treats his wound,and strips to a towel in front of him.After she takes a shower,he awkwardly seduces her("Can I get this shirt off?""Yes.Can I get this towel off?")and a bizzarely disturbing love scene ensues.The beast kills more people,and the sheriff and his posse manage to electrocute it in a moment of DIY brilliance,but seeing the permed and pale lawman and his tanned deputy roll in the sheets proves to be the one horrifying moment that stays with me long after the end credits roll.Lisa,I'll be taking a shower if you're done in there.Can I get this shirt off,baby?
Galactic Baby Huey in a silver disco suit?Damned skippy.
This was one of my first rentals at General Radio in Wilkes-Barre,Pa,once I'd gotten a free membership card after buying my Sony Betamovie camcorder and betamax vcr there.Watching it now takes me right back to that summer where me and my buddies crowded around the big woodgrain floor model television in the parlour every night,a different pair of horror flicks to screen every time.Dohler immortalized himself in our eyes through efforts like this,every bit as entertaining as Plan 9 from Outer Space in the same unfortunate way.You won't regret giving this a look,but from a technical standpoint,anything more than one wop would be misleading,which I give it,proudly:
Makeshift MacGuyvers from Maryland take out the titular troublemaker with household ingenuity.
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