"Låt den rätte komma in"(2008)d/Thomas Alfredson

You might have noticed a serious drop off in the number of vampire flicks we've looked at here at the Wop,especially recent releases,and really,can you blame me with the sudden popularity spike in douchebag vampirism in movies and television as of late.If manure like this or this is your idea of top tier fangfare(and you're older than thirteen and/or male),then your brain needs to be exposed to some serious sunlight,Nutsacula.But I digress.You won't often hear me gush praise the way I'm about to,and I assure you beforehand,I'm not hopped up on goofballs typing it either.Tonight's entry is that rare,elusive bird,a magnificent new vampire film.Further than that,it's a great movie,period.As the end titles flashed on the screen I was overcome with a satisfied rush that's occurred relatively few times these days when screening movies,unless I'm revisiting an old favourite.If you don't own this one yet,I beseech you to run right the fuck out and pick a copy up.Like,today-ish.It deserves a spot next to the greatest modern blooddrinker flicks of our time,because,it most certainly is one of them.Let the Right One In is a ravenously original,beautifully composed,cleverly written,and superbly acted work of art.A genre film of this quality doesn't come along very often,and my only disappointment stems from not having sat through it earlier.

Eli(Leandersson)is one kitten you might think twice about helping out of a tree.
Oskar(Kåre Hedebrant)is a slight,introverted 12 year old living in an apartment complex with his mother outside of Stockholm.He's bullied daily at school by Conny and his little droogies,and at night he dreams of sweet revenge out in the courtyard,acting out with his knife where no one sees him.One night he meets Eli(Leandersson),a pale,underdressed girl his age out in the snow,who's moved next door and relates to him that they can't be friends.He's used to this sort of rejection by now,and thinks nothing of it.Her roommate,Håkan,is in the habit of going out and hanging the locals upside down,cutting their throats,and catching the arterial spray in a jug,which he brings home to the little girl.His first attempt is interrupted by women walking a dog in the snowy night,forcing him to flee the scene,leaving the jug behind,which leads Eli to go out and hunt for herself.See,Eli isn't really twelve,or even a little girl.The foul odor that Oskar notices and perpetually gurgling stomach are due to the fact she sustains herself on human blood.When she dives on Jocke's throat in the shadows of a darkened underpass,Håkan is left to dispose of the bloodless corpse in a nearby lake.Meanwhile,Eli and Oskar become friends,with Oskar reasearching Morse Code at school so they can tap out messages to each other through the wall that separates them.She notices the aftermath of some of the bullying he endures,and advises him to hit back,assuring him that if he's outnumbered,she will help him.Håkan's next victim,a teenaged boy,is saved by his friends breaking into the locker room where he's hanging before the old man can extricate the precious fluid from him.Eli's roommate then pours acid into his own face,rendering himself unrecognizable to the authorities and preserving the little girl's secret.She scales the exterior wall of the hospital up to Håkan's window,kisses him goodbye,then feasts on his throat,his lifeless and horribly scarred body violently plummets to the ground below.

Did anyone bring the Swedish meatball kebabs?
Eli,now on her own,goes to Oskar's bedroom,and after agreeing to "go steady",sleeps next to the boy that night.Awwww.She's not ALL nocturnal blood-crazed and supernatural-like,afterall.On a school field trip,Oskar attacks and deafens his bully in one ear out on the frozen lake,where Jocke's body is discovered by two of the other children.He takes his pale little pal to a secret hideout,where he cuts his palm open,asking Eli to do the same,forming a blood bond between them,but when she sees and smells the blood,she's overtaken by the urge to feed,and drops to the ground and laps the boy's blood with an unnaturally long tongue,before running off.She bites a local woman named Ginia,whose boyfriend Lacke(who was Jocke's best friend) interrupts,saving her life,but she soon discovers she's been infected by the same hunger that drove her attacker.At the hospital,she knowingly asks the doctor to open the drapes and let some sunlight in,which sets her ablaze,to the dismay of Lacke and the hospital personnel.Tell that one to the relationship counselor,boyyo.Lacke,acting on the testimony of his bizarre,cat-loving mate Gösta(whose cats set upon Ginia sensing her vampirism,earlier),lets himself into Eli's apartment,but before he can snuff off the epicenter of his life's misery,Oskar awakens her,and she abruptly drains him of all the red,red groovy he's packing.No longer safe,Eli leaves Oskar behind.Set up by the vengeful Conny at the swimming pool,Oskar is forced to hold his breath for three minutes,or lose an eye to Conny's older,bullier friend Martin.But while he's being held underwater,chaos ensues above.Blood-spewing bully body parts sink into the murky pool depths,as Eli stays true to her word.Oskar travels by day on a train,with his girlfriend in a trunk beside him,and as she taps out the word "kiss" from inside,he reciprocates from outside.

Judging by your grillpiece,Håkan,t'was a mercy sucking.
As a disturbing footnote,Hollywood is currently producing its own bastardized remake,"Let Me In"(because American audiences wouldn't "get" the title),allegedly based more on the original Ajvide Lindqvist novel,which focuses more on the gory details and explicit horror than Alfredson's treatment of the Lindqvist screenplay did.Let me gaze into my crystal ball momentarily,and predict that it's gonna suck more eggs than Johnny Cash's dirty old egg-suckin' dog ever did.WHY in all the Gods' good names would you fuck with a movie that's nearly perfect in every aspect?I find myself asking that question to the heavens more frequently than ever these days.The same reason Hollywood had to get its collective grubby mitts on(and consequently ruin)stellar foreign genre fare like The Vanishing,The Wicker Man,Ju-On,Ringu,and [Rec].Money,sadly,has to be the only answer to that eternal question.And as long as YOU keep paying to see it,they'll keep squeezing it out of their unoriginal sphincter.Let The Right One In should restore hope in those jaded horror viewers and fans that somebody can still make an excellent motion picture.I give it the highest possible rating,and it comes well-deserved.Next up here at the Wop,I proudly present the first guest review to date.You'll definitely wanna check it out...

You have to invite her in.Non-negotiable.